Peer Response to V.Grodsky's Definition Paragraph

by Yana Hrybovska

The author of the given paragraph gives substantial definition of a ‘search engine’ – term from his field of studying. Readying of this extended definition gives us a basic understanding of what a search engine is.
The format of this definition is correct because the term is defined in a one single paragraph, and the term itself is marked out.
In the present paragraph there is a topic sentence that has a controlling idea and gives us general information about the term. Supporting sentences give us additional information and correspond with the main idea, stated in the topic sentence. At the same time, there is no concluding sentence in the paragraph, and this fact provides the feeling of incompleteness. The author also hasn’t used any transition signals.
The last sentence of the paragraph has some problems with its structure. First of all, words ‘of the’ are repeated very often in the first part of the sentence, which causes difficulties in its perception. There also are too much brackets. It could have been written in such a way instead: ‘The revelation of the web-page to the query is defined with the help of different algorithms that analyze the content of the page -the key word frequency, the usage of key words in the important parts of the document (heading, title), and some others - and external factors such as the number and quality of the links on web-page, the description in catalogues, etc’.
It seems like there are no serious grammar mistakes.