4.2.13



Olena Bychkovska

A-C-R Pragraph
 The World Should Help Africa to Combat HIV/AIDS

Argument
Counterargument
Rebuttal
A large number of people are infected in Africa
Too little recourses to help
World’s most effective program is in Africa
HIV/AIDS has a significant negative impact
Other own problems to solve
Is a world problem + globalization 

The world’s community should help Africa to combat HIV/AIDS. One reason is that the HIV epidemics dominate in Africa, especially in the sub-Saharan region, where approximately 22.9 million people are infected, which constitutes two thirds of the global population infected. Moreover, in Africa HIV/AIDS has a significant negative impact on various sides of the peoples’ life such as life expectancy and productivity, households’ prosperity; evolvement of healthcare, education and economy [1]. Opinions vary, but some scientist state that there is too little recourses available in order to provide treatment for a large number of people in Africa. Moreover, other countries have limited resources and own problems to solve, therefore, it might seem that those countries do not have well-grounded reasons to spend their resources on solving Africa’s problems. Nevertheless, HIV/AIDS can be effectively treated and prevented not only in other regions of the world, but also in Africa. Actually, the “Africa Dream Project”may serve as an example. It is being implemented in few African countries and provides treatment to numerous HIV-positive Africans [2]. In addition, nowadays the globalization is taking place; consequently, the problems as well become more and more globalized. It has been widely recognized by the leading scientists that the changes in one region greatly contribute to the changes in other regions, as a result, African HIV/AIDS epidemics is not only an African concern, but it should be addressed by the world in general. On the basis of considerations provided, the world’s community should provide various types of aid to Africa more consistently in order to help it to combat HIV/AIDS.

List of References:
  1. HIV and AIDS in Africa - Official web-site of AVERT. - Available from: <http://www.avert.org/hiv-aids-africa.htm> - Title from the screen.   
  2. Official web-site of Africa Dream Project - Available from: <http://www.africadreamproject.org/> - Title from the screen.

An Editorial on Class Sizes in School. Critical Response.
The presented paragraph has a number of strong and weak points. As an example of an advantage of this paragraph may serve that the author tells it as a personal story, which makes the stated problem more interesting and realistic. The arguments provided are well-built and consider various issues. Nevertheless, some weak points have to be mentioned. First of all, an argumentative paragraph should be developed on a topic that is thought to be controversial. According to convictions, to reduce or not reduce the class size is not a controversial topic, because in pedagogy, psychology and sociology it has been decided that the smaller the number of people in class, the more effective is the educational process. The world’s leading educational institutions, like Oxford, are taking the approach of class reduction. Therefore, there is no problem to state and no opinion to argue against, because everything was agreed already. In addition, the opinion of the author has to be stated in the topic sentence. Moreover, the student provides his own opinion, thoughts and feeling, which are not well-grounded reasons for reducing the class size. No statistics, official academic conclusions, facts from educational institutions are discussed. In a serious matter like this it is not recommended to rely on somebody’s opinion. Furthermore, the rebuttal is introduced too quickly, not enough counterarguments are considered; consequently, the opposing opinion is not expressed fully. The arguments and counterarguments are not paired. Overall, while reading this paragraph it seems like there is no such problem, though the author tried to state it. Only one point of view is being considered mostly, and it gives an impression that to reduce the class size is the only acceptable option. It seems like the author tries not to mention the counterarguments because he does not know how to oppose them. That is why the overall message is weak and inconviencive. As it can be seen from this example, writing an argumentative paragraph might be a challenging task, which demands taking into consideration various recommendations.

1 comment:

Iuliia Gorodyska said...

Critical response to the ACR Paragraph by Olena Bychkovska “Should the world help Africa combat HIV/AIDS?”. By Iuliia Gorodyska
The paragraph written by Olena Bychkovska is clearly structured, which enhances the reader’s comprehension. The Argument-Counterargument-Rebuttal pattern can be distinctly noticed. Transitions between the three elements of the structure are well-build and logically coherent. Moreover, there are two of ACR patterns used in the paragraph, each supported by evidences such as statistics, experts’ opinions, and empirical examples (e.g. DREAM project). This fact makes the paragraph more convincing and appealing. However, one question remains opened: the title of the paragraph is in interrogative form, which poses doubts about intention of the author. Instead, it would be advisable to rename the paragraph into “The world should help Africa combat HIV/AIDS”.
To sum up, the paragraph written by Olena Bychkovska is a very good example of how the ACR pattern should be used in academic writing.